Gavan Reilly's Portfolio writings, ramblings, mumblings

Anto Kelly: Belfield’s Private Adonis?

Anto Kelly. You know him as the guy who’s been booking Ents gigs and arranging the UCD Ball since September. But those of you who’ve ever cast glance upon him will also be aware that Anto Kelly has some of the most illustrious hair known to mankind. No kidding – its shine cannot be underestimated. It is actually believed that Anto’s touch once restored the sight of a blind man, only for the man to be blinded once again by the intense, penetrating shine of his flowing locks.

Other than the dazzling brilliant white tones of his teeth (rumour has it that Nelly had each of his front teeth silver-capped just to keep up), the other striking cosmetic quality of Anto Kelly is his designer stubble. Senior staff from the School of History believe that such stubble was originally known as ‘Anto Stubble’ before becoming mainstream. It’s also thought that Chuck Norris used Anto’s visage as a model for his own Velcro-like facial hair.

Anto Kelly: Belfield’s private Adonia. Form an orderly queue, ladies.